March 28, 2024
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Responding to the Cry of ‘Count Me in…’

The Lifelong Journey of Refining Our Souls: Part II

In last month’s article, we spoke to the charge of “Kedoshim tihiyu, Thou shalt be holy.” We learned that winning the battle of “altruism” over “egotism” is an important aspect of this journey. We also saw how the guidance and role modeling of parents, grandparents, rabbis and communal leaders are central to facilitating this process, and that even at the tender age of bar and bat mitzvah, our inspired youth have much to teach us about how each one of us can “count” and be “counted on”; this is accomplished by using our God-given competencies in connecting with and impacting positively on the lives of others in unique and creative ways. And as we discover each week, the Torah is the best resource available to help us identify our own path in this important mission.

Sefer Bamidbar is referred to by the Talmud (Sotah: 36b) as Sefer “HaPekudim—the Book of Numbers”; this is because of its focus on the importance of “counting” in our Torah. At the beginning of the introductory parsha, Hashem commands Moshe to conduct a census among the people to determine the number of men eligible for service in the army. The commentators raise questions regarding Hashem, the “All-knowing,” Who has prior knowledge of this information, Who chooses to issue this request. In addition, Rashi’s well-known explanation that the counting is an expression of Hashem’s love for the nation does not appear to explain why Hashem also requested three censuses in close proximity to one another.

In an article on Chabad.org, Rabbi Moshe Bogomilsky explains that the act of “counting” is, in fact, meant to teach us about the “unifying” aspect of our holy souls. Thus, in every census, the physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive abilities, as well as the personality traits of the individuals, were not considered; no one was counted as “more than one” or “less than one.” Viewed from this perspective, it is only the one aspect of mankind, his holy neshama, his tzelem Elokim, the part of Hashem that he shares with every other member of the klal, that counted in the census. This unifying aspect of our holy souls was also demonstrated during Matan Torah. We learned that even if one Jew was missing, the Torah would not have been given at that time. Indeed, the butcher, baker and candlestick maker counted as one, just as those endowed with what we may think of as holier or more prestigious attributes. The requirement of a “minyan” is a present-day example of this notion. Indeed, if we have 10 Jews we perceive as average, the minyan is complete; and yet, even if eight of the most respected members of the community show up, the service cannot be conducted. Unfortunately, this notion of “different in attributes but equal in value in the eyes of God” is often forgotten in our everyday actions toward our fellow Jews. Due to my affiliation with the “special needs” population, stories of “exclusion” come my way on a regular basis. Oh, how I shiver each time I hear the words “We can’t educate your child; he is better off in public school.” It is sad, but true, that Jewish communities continue to struggle with consistently providing “inclusive” educational and social experiences to children and young adults who desire and are entitled to this basic privilege; and as long as even one neshama is lost to Yiddishkeit, because of this failure, it is one neshama too many.

Yet, on the positive side, kudos to educational and social programs such as SINAI, Friendship Circle and Count Me In, among many others, that are rising to the challenge of inclusion throughout Bergen, Passaic and Essex counties; as a result, so many of our children are provided with opportunities to interact socially and academically with their typical-age peers. Just a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a memorable evening at the yearly extravaganza of song and dance, “Heart Beats,” made possible through the talents and commitments of students and staff members of Ma’ayanot, which houses SINAI in Teaneck. I cannot describe the gratitude I experience each year as I watch Tova, my granddaughter, and her classmates interact with the incredibly talented and compassionate friends they have made since attending Ma’ayanot. The joy and pride generated by these efforts are reflected in Tova’s excitement to attend school and when she meets her Ma’ayanot friends on our trips for coffee at Lazy Bean or lunch at Mocha Bleu.

As a Jewish community, it is important to remember that this is all made possible through the vision and hard work of individuals such as Rabbi Dr. Wallace Greene, who was a pioneer willing to go against the grain and advocate for inclusion in the yeshivot when he started the SINAI program at the Hebrew Youth Academy of Essex County 35 years ago. Thanks to the host schools who took up the charge, SINAI now resides in yeshivot throughout Bergen and Essex counties, and in Riverdale, New York. More recently, my daughter Mrs. Tammy Stern, Tova’s mom, and her friend Mrs. Chashi Krupka, envisioned “Count Me in,” an initiative offering opportunities for academic and social inclusion in yeshivot during public school breaks, as well as parental support, in the Clifton/Passaic community. Because of these and other inclusion initiatives, children with special needs interact with their typical-age peers, are included in the fabric of Jewish life, and every Jewish soul benefits from the elevation our neshamot experience through these efforts.

Whenever I spend Shabbos in Passaic, it warms my heart to see the many friendships Tova enjoys with the teens in her community who pick her up to spend the day socializing with the girls. All of these experiences will no doubt go a long way in preparing Tova to be an active and contributing member of our Jewish community. While the academic, social and emotional growth resulting from this level of inclusion are quantifiable, there are no numbers high enough to measure the joy, confidence and self-respect they have gained because their plea for “count me in” has been answered. Finally, there are no words sufficient to express the hakarat hatov our community owes to those who paved the way and continue to work toward realizing this dream; and in doing so, we have all come a long way in honoring the Torah’s principle of “different in attributes but equal in value in the eyes of God.”

By Renee Nussbaum, PhD, PsyA

 Renee Nussbaum is a practicing psychoanalyst with training in Imago and EFT. She can be reached at [email protected].

 

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