It seems as though wherever we went in the community on Monday, we heard variations of a similar conversation. Throughout the halls of offices and restaurants, the discussion revolved around people’s visits the previous day to their precious big and little ones who are attending sleepaway camp. The conversations began with a question, asking how the kids are doing, followed by a two-hour tirade on the unbearable traffic situation coming and going from the Catskills, Pennsylvania or anywhere else camps are located. Each person had their own story to relate but, again, the theme was the same. WAZE took them on these small roads, obviously to avoid the traffic, but didn’t realize that it was taking all of these exhausted parents on the same path. Younger siblings, despite the fact that they can be entertained by iPads or other forms of electronics, were too exhausted to cope with this long trek. Grandparents vowed never to do it again, though, fortunately, due to the fact that as they get older their memory weakens, they will likely set out again next year with great enthusiasm.
Years ago, we were as guilty as everyone else, assuming it to be even more important for us to visit our children because they lived “so far away.” We would drive from camp to camp in order to gather everyone together in order to get to HASC en famille.
It is not because we are older and perhaps a bit wiser that we must ask the obvious; we remember thinking the same thing years ago. Who exactly does Visiting Day benefit? There is no question in our minds that the only real beneficiary is the camp itself. We saw the heartbreak in the eyes of campers who waited for their parents, only to be told that they were unable to come for various reasons. In most cases, the camp provided special activities for those campers, but no matter how hard they tried, it is difficult to get into a tiny mind and feel the sadness and loneliness they must be feeling.
We know how difficult it is for counselors to get their bunk acclimated to camp during those first days. After one week has passed, finally everyone seems to have cozied into their new routine. The counselors feel great seeing the cohesiveness and spirit their bunks have attained. Bang— Visiting Day arrives, in some cases 10 days to two weeks after camp has begun, and that same settled-in group has to go through the entire period of adjustment once again when their parents leave. In some cases, campers will be returning home just one short week after Visiting Day. Who are we helping in this situation?
We understand the argument for those who stay in camp longer than one month, but is there not usually one day in between months when parents could be invited up to spend time with their children?
We do understand that the camp benefits generally when parents walk through the grounds and visit the “new bunks,” the amazing lake and the beautiful pool. What they really need to see are the ongoing activities and the way the staff interacts with their children. They need to see the love and devotion that is rained upon their children. On Visiting Day, with hundreds of people milling around and, in many cases, counselors sort of hiding, little can be noticed. The most important thing becomes how much snack, nosh and extra money for the canteen can be showered on the poor, lonely camper. We remember being at a camp for Shabbat and watched on Friday as the UPS truck pulled up with boxes and bags of Zomick’s challah. Sorry, as Canadians, this meant nothing to us except to wonder whether or not the camp provided challah on Shabbat. Is there not a limit on how outrageous these things can become? Keep in mind that there is always the child who does not receive packages nor have extra money to splurge on the canteen. Bravo to the camps that no longer allow any extra food to enter camp. How sad it must have been for our children who attended camps that did not have canteens.
There are the cases of parents who feel that by seeing how well adjusted their children are at camp they will be less hesitant to send their other children to sleepaway camp, or that same child the following summer. That may help the parents, but it helps the camps as well.
Camp is a big business. We are fortunate to have safe, educational and recreational facilities to which we can send our children in the summer months. Our only plea on behalf of everyone we listened to in their small groups this week is, “Can we please get rid of Visiting Day? Who exactly does it benefit?”
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick are living in Bergenfield after many years of service to the Montreal Jewish community. Rabbi Glick was the Rav of Congregation Ahavat Yisroel as well as a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice. He also taught at at Champlain Regional College. The Glicks were frequent speakers at the OU Marriage Retreats. Nina coordinated all Yachad activities in Montreal and was a co/founder of Maison Shalom, a group home for special needs young adults. They can be reached at [email protected].
