March 25, 2024
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Shelach: The Power of Peer Pressure

This past Memorial Day I led a group of men from our adult learning center at Yeshiva Ner Boruch, PTI, to a morning of Torah learning in one of the largest yeshivos in the world: Beis Medrash Govoha (BMG) in Lakewood. Our students came from different locations in the tristate area, including Teaneck, Fair Lawn, Passaic, Paramus, Long Branch, Brooklyn and Bensalem, to join us for this powerful experience. It was awe-inspiring to join over a thousand young men learning Torah in one beis midrash. And this was just one of the buildings of BMG; they have multiple others for their total of 7,000 students!

There are many ways people spend time on Memorial Day. Some attend a ceremony honoring the fallen soldiers. Some watch the impressive battleships as they enter the harbor for Fleet Week. Others enjoy sleeping late, having a barbecue lunch and going shopping at the mall. The men from my yeshiva wanted to spend the morning learning Torah in BMG and listening to a few of the great roshei yeshiva give us shiurim. We were going to exercise our religious freedom, which was one of the most important freedoms for which our soldiers have fought. We especially felt our religious freedom as we entered the crowded halls of BMG to connect with these 7,000 soldiers of Hashem. How beautiful it was to see and feel the combined power of their Torah learning!

In Parshas Shelach we see the power of peer pressure when people band together for a cause. It can sway us in directions we would not otherwise travel, either for the positive or for the negative. Ten of the meraglim (spies) sent to spy out the Land of Israel convinced the Jewish people not to enter Eretz Yisrael because of dangers they reported, despite the best efforts of the spies Kalev and Yehoshua to convince the people that Hashem would protect them. As a result, the entire generation of those who left Egypt were punished to live out their lives in the desert (with the exception of Kalev and Yehoshua who entered Israel). The privilege of entering Eretz Yisrael would go to the children of the generation that sinned.

It’s quite puzzling that when Hashem actually informed Moshe of this terrible punishment, the verse only lists Kalev as being excluded and not Yehoshua. Why the omission? The Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh says the pasuk highlights that Kalev had a ruach acheres—a different driving force—that would provide him with the merit to enter Eretz Yisrael. What does ruach acheres really mean? It is referring to the inner struggle one has when he’s being pulled in two different directions. Kalev knew that Hashem was going to protect and help the Jewish nation conquer Eretz Yisrael, but he was being pressured to join the counsel and perspective of the meraglim. The pressure was enormous, since his peers were great people. The verse singles out Kalev, who fought his inner challenge and made the correct decision.

Yehoshua did not have this struggle, since Moshe had davened to save him from the peer pressure of the meraglim. Kalev did not have this extra protection. Because Kalev’s struggle was so enormous and his victory so incredible, we find Hashem giving Kalev an accolade even during his lifetime. This is something Hashem rarely does, since it’s never certain the person will remain on his current high level. Here Hashem called Kalev an eved—a servant of Hashem—for Kalev proved his faith and reliability.

Peer pressure is indeed a powerful force and it drives many of our behaviors without us even realizing it. As with all influences we experience, our goal is to harness its powers for the good.

A friend of mine, Rabbi Gidon Shoshan, works for Shapell’s Yeshiva in Yerushalayim. He tells his students that the most important decision they will make is choosing what neighborhood to live in. Indeed, the Rambam says a person must choose a place to live where the people will be a positive influence, because a person is greatly influenced by his surroundings. One’s town, school, group of friends and even one’s work environment all play an important role in our lives. This is doubly true for our children.

I thank Hashem for blessing me with such a wonderful group of students who choose to take advantage of an opportunity to exercise their ability to practice religious freedom—one true way of honoring the soldiers who fell defending our freedoms. In making this trip to a tremendous center of Torah learning as a harmonious group they also demonstrated their positive influence on each other both on a daily basis and when special Torah-learning opportunities present themselves.

By Rabbi Baruch Bodenheim


Rabbi Baruch Bodenheim is the associate rosh yeshiva of Passaic Torah Institute (PTI)/Yeshiva Ner Boruch. PTI has attracted people from all over northern New Jersey, including Teaneck, Bergenfield, Paramus, Rockaway and Fair Lawn. He initiated and continues to lead a multi-level Gemara learning program. Recently he has spread out beyond PTI to begin a weekly beis midrash program with in-depth chavrusa learning in Livingston and Springfield. This year he joined Heichal Hatorah in Teaneck as a Gemara iyun rebbe. His email is [email protected].

 

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