When you go to buy an apartment, one important thing you really need to know is—yourself.
Really. It’s so important and ultimately so crucial. It makes such a big difference. You have to be aware of your own psychology for a good purchase to work for you. So you have to be aware and ask yourself, what emotions or psychological factors are involved in motivating your purchase and how you’re going about it? You have to know yourself.
Doing this can go a long, long way to give you clarity when making good, smart decisions and bringing about a happy outcome.
Sometimes what’s happening is fear. Really.
The motivation of fear can often come into the picture, when people become afraid of somehow losing out. It works very strongly, without them even realizing it. You come to see an apartment, and you think about it and you get impulsive about buying it, acting out of the fear that someone else might buy it. You have to know yourself and you have to be aware that this is happening.
And it happens all the time. You’re not even sure you like the apartment, but that fear takes over. And sometimes, unfortunately, it’s not just your psychology at play here, but less-than-scrupulous brokers playing with you and your fears. People have to be aware of this: Brokers will sometimes manipulate people and capitalize on, build on and create that fear by telling them there’s another interested buyer.
So don’t fall for it. You have to know yourself.
Yet on the other end of the emotional spectrum is an opposite psychological phenomenon, and that’s wild unrealistic hope. Not a common-sense, positive hope, but an irrational hope, an emotional hope against all careful logic and prudence.
You tell yourself, “It will be OK.” “Yihiyeh BeSeder.” You come to buy an apartment, you know you don’t really have the means to successfully cover the purchase, or to cover the mortgage. People sometimes know they can’t realistically do this, but they tell themselves, “It’ll be OK.” Will it be OK? Under those circumstances, probably not.
You have to be aware of this and ask yourself, are you dealing with reality, knowing that you want the apartment and can handle it and have the means to do so? Or is it simply an emotional feeling, one that will get you into trouble? In that case, it’s an emotion, not a plan.
And let’s be clear, if a person has real bitachon, a clear, thought-out trust in Hashem, he could go ahead and buy an apartment even if he doesn’t have the means to do so. But if you act out of an irresponsible, emotional, ill-considered and not thought out idea of, “It’ll be OK,” then that’s not trust but a wild desperate denial. And that’s not OK.
On the other hand, this emotion also occurs when a person goes into a situation or deal and he sees there are problems. There are real problems: There’s problems with the seller, there’s problems here and there’s problems there, but he blindly tells himself “It’ll be OK.”
But it won’t be OK; there are too many problems. That’s not the way you’re supposed to do things. A person has to do proper hishtadlus and make sure everything is done the right way. Blind emotion won’t do it. You’re simply hoping, without any basis for such hope, against all the evidence that it won’t “be OK.” It’s not bitachon and it’s not a plan. It’s an emotion, and not a positive one. So you have to know yourself.
Then there’s another psychological trap. It happens all too often and it’s a big mistake. We call it the superiority trap and we’ve seen it all too many times. Someone sees that somebody in some move did something, or they read something, and decide they now have immediate superior expert status in the field. Having attained their new expert status, they feel they can do everything by themselves since they know everything that there is to know in the field.
But they don’t know everything in the field, because no one can. You really can’t know everything. We at The Getter Group have, baruch Hashem, been in this field for 15 years, and we learn new things, constantly, every day. There’s always a lot to learn and so much to know and discover: Those who are experts in the field know exactly that. In every deal there is legitimately a new thing to learn.
So a false perceived superiority can be a big psychological trap and one that can be a practical mistake with sad results. Don’t make that costly mistake. Here it really pays to know what’s happening, both in the deal, as well as within oneself.
But sometimes there’s a different psychological trap to be aware of, and it’s almost the opposite of the superiority trap. People go into a purchasing situation, they want to buy an apartment, they make a decision—their heart makes a decision—which is fine in itself, but they seek out reassurance from the worst possible sources of know-how and expertise. They usually go to their friends, who aren’t experts and certainly wouldn’t claim to be, to bolster and reinforce and mirror their decision, that their heart—not their head—made already. Big mistake.
Intelligent decisions are made by carefully consulting objective outsiders, so you can decide using your head and not just your heart. Emotional feelings are certainly important in a purchase of this kind and magnitude, but decisions of the heart in such situations have to be combined with those of the head—and preferably someone else’s head—using sober objectivity and expertise in their advice and direction. Without a doubt, when it comes to buying a home in Israel, it’s a matter of the heart; Yerushalayim is of course very close to our hearts and everyone wants to have a part of Eretz Yisrael. And that is precisely why you have to make sure you’re making intelligent and informed decisions, based on good advice and research, to ensure that this special dream could be such a beautiful reality.
And it can be.
And, with the right emotion, the right psychology (and not impulse), the right self-awareness and the right Bitachon in Siyata DeShmaya—it will be.
For more information and to schedule an appointment for Mr. Getter’s upcoming visit between Feb 8 and Feb 15, call Sarah at 077-234-6011 ext. 208 or email [email protected]
Shia Getter is the CEO of the Shia Getter Group, a full-range real estate services firm in Jerusalem catering to the Anglo-Charedi community. He is a noted expert, columnist and author of “Everything You Need to Know about Buying Real Estate in Israel” (Feldheim 2014). He and his professional team are Israel’s one and only true buyer’s broker.
This article is intended to provide general information about the subject matter covered. It is not meant to provide legal opinions, offer advice or serve as a substitute for advice by licensed, legal professionals.
By Shia Getter
The author does not warrant that the information is complete or accurate, and does not assume and hereby disclaims any liability to any person for any loss or damage caused by errors, inaccuracies or omissions, or usage of this article.